Category: discomfort


Sorry I have not been keeping up on the blog this last week. I have been very tired this past week. I am thinking that it’s the side effect of the progesterone and all the other drugs. With my body mimicking pregnancy, I think I am feeling the full side effects of fatigue!

Anyway, I knew I had told everyone on Twitter I would share our egg retrieval story. The Huz and I look back at it now, and realize that we must be extremely positive people, because we could have easily been really upset or discouraged after the process. Instead, we thought everything went great! Until the Huz and I had our check up and the doctors where apologizing for what happened during retrieval. We both were like what went wrong?

Well let’s go back to the Friday before retrieval at my weekly check up, and they tell me that I will probably have retrieval on Wednesday at the rate of egg growth. They also warned me that my estrogen may be high due to the number of eggs. Nurse Red says to me that she hopes that it’s no higher than 2200. She would give me a call once the blood work came in. When I get the call, my estrogen is 2208. THANK GOD! Then she said that tomorrow Dr. T will call after the blood work. She tells me to lower my Follistim from 300 to 50.

Then as you all may have read my Chicago story “STFU and do what I say” It was not easy getting that blood draw, and my cycle would have been cancelled if I didn’t. My estrogen went to 2800 and it was for sure that I was having retrieval on Wednesday.

So I go in Monday and I am so uncomfortable I am having a difficult time breathing. They take my blood and my estrogen was at 5000. I stopped taking Follistim, took the HCG trigger on Tuesday and went in on Wednesday. Walking had become unbearable, I felt like my ovaries were pushing on everything.

The Huz’s procedure was in-patient, so he went to the doctor’s office and I went to the outpatient surgery wing. My surgery was supposed to be at 9 am at 10 am I was still laying there. My MIL was with me and we are wondering what was going on.

The Huz is at the urologist office, they are supposed to do a biopsy to get sperm. They do the initial biopsy and give it to the embryologist who I will call Dr. G for Genius. He comes back and says there is no sperm in the specimen. Dr. Urologist looked white as a ghost according to the Huz because he had guaranteed sperm, and right now there wasn’t any. Basically what happens next is enough to make anyone nauseous. Dr. G and Dr. Urologist began to weigh their options, we had no donor sperm, since I was already on the over stimulated side, there was no way I could wait another day and I was prepped for surgery. They decide they have to basically operate on the Huz in the office! The Huz obviously is awake and is only given a local, as they cut deeper he repeatedly has to tell them he feels pain, and they keep giving him injections. The Huz witnessed Dr. Urologist take his testicle out, basically cut it in half and dig for sperm! The whole time, the Huz (who is not very spiritual) says he is praying to God that there is something, some sperm somewhere. Because the last words he heard Dr. Urologist say to Dr. G was if there is no sperm in that sample we will not find any.

This whole time I am just waiting, wondering what is going on. Then they take me back and retrieve 31 eggs and 26 of these are mature.

Dr. G said because of all this last-minute and being unprepared for what happened could be the reason our fertilization rate dropped drastically. We already knew we were going to have to do ICSI, so at least that was in the plan. He was able to injection most of the eggs but not all the sperm was fully mature. They worked on our group from 10 am to 7 pm that evening. In the end we have 6 viable eggs for a 5 day transfer. They implanted 2 blasts, and only one made it to the 6th day so it could be frozen.

Dr. Urologist explained that if we ever do IVF again, the Huz will also be put anesthesia and have surgery too. The Huz had a ton of stitches inside and out, and could not get out of bed for 4 days. We looked pathetic, me on bed rest for 2 days, he not being able to walk, and my sister working overtime to take care of us.

So thank goodness we didn’t even realize what went wrong until a week later! But, hey everything happens for a reason and we are fine! We haven’t decided yet if we would do IVF again, we will def use the frozen embie when the time comes, but to go through everything again, right now we are not sure. We will keep you posted. As for now we are just praying and hoping that these two stick or at least one!

Beta is on Thursday, can’t wait! We are both pretty excited!

I am still feeling bloated, but I am not feeling pain, but I do feel achy all over my body.  I have been taking it very easy.  I slept pretty much the entire day of ER and the day after I went to work and came home early.  I was slightly over stimulated and was told to take it easy.  But things today are much better and ET is scheduled for Monday Morning. 

My acupuncturist was really upset because she wanted me to come in before and Dr. T was not keen on changing his time. So today we did electro stimulation and it was weird.  The needles were vibrating and I could feel the pulsing.  It’s bizarre.  Although I did feel better after I went to acupuncture.

Also since my Estrogen test came back high, they added another form of progesterone.  They want to make sure they balance each other out.  So I am on the wonderful vaginal suppositories and injecting PIO.  And SERIOUSLY! There isn’t a better way to get progesterone than this thick oil with the biggest needle being shoved in my @$$! At first it did not hurt at all. Then all of a sudden 3 hours later it was so sore, and it’s sore now!  So not only am I walking funny due to my discomfort but now I try to sit directly on it so I do not bother my bum!

The Huz is still hurting pretty bad.  They basically had to cut his testicle and open it entirely to find sperm.  They went very deep to look for sperm, because initially they could not find any!  So the doctor was a little bit worried, but then they were able to find some.  That is why they injected 26 eggs, just trying to get any sperm they could.  We will know the final count on Sunday!  Then we will transfer 2 5-day blasts.

I think to calm my nerves I will probably stay off the internet for the two week wait.  I will update via blog, but I will let you know the results for sure though.  So I will probably write one more blog on Sunday and then be out of commission for two weeks.  Anyway, that’s for all the support.  Love you all!

Have a great day!

Yesterday was ER.  I was so happy because I was so ready to get these eggs out! The Huz also had to have surgery as well.  He was dropped off at the office since his was in-patient surgery.  I went down to the outpatient hospital wing, and waited.  After they called me back and I stripped down and put on the @$$ open gown.  I lay on the bed, ready.  They had told me that they were going to give me some protein afterwords to help me since my ovaries were so big.  We waited for a long time before I went back and my mother in law stayed with me until I went back.  We both wondered what was taking so long.  My husband finally came down, and we found on that the first biopsy did not find any mature sperm.  The second cut that was extremely deep did find some good sperm, which we later found out from the Urologist.

I finally went back, and they moved me to the other bed, and that is all I remember.  They did not count down, let me know the anesthesia was coming, they just put me out!  I woke up in the recovery room.  They had started the protein and I had to finish two of these large bottles before I was allowed to leave.  They told me that I am going to be in pain for a couple of days. But I am in real pain.  My abdomen is pretty swollen, a little cramp-y, but what I realized is causing the most pain is constipation.  I am going home from work, and I am going to lie down.  My husband is also lying down all day, and I will join him.  My sweet mother in law is going to bring down dinner tonight.  I have acupuncture tomorrow and I am  hoping that will help.   

Other than that, we are waiting to hear how many will survive in the end.  Our clinic only does 5 day transfers, so my ET will be on Monday.  They will implant two, and we will hope that the other can be frozen.  This process is pretty exhausting, I have a new respect for those people who have gone through multiple IVFs. 

I hope that for me all will work out well.  I pray for those who have gone through these multiple times.  I wish the best for those starting their journeys.

I feel like a bomb that is waiting to go off. 

I had my last date with the magic stick today.  The follicles are looking mighty big!  The doctor is hoping to have anywhere from 25 – 30 eggs.  So keep my ovaries in your prayers.  My estrogen level has elevated, and so I am reducing doses of HCG.  On the other hand I am in pain.  I have gained about 9 lbs in a week and it is showing in my belly. I try to lay flat as much as possible that is the most comfortable position for me.  Walking long distances feels so uncomfortable and I am a stairs girl, and there is no way to walk up and down them at work.  I’m ready for the Egg Retrieval! I am READY, damn it!

However, when I got the call today that my ER was really scheduled for Wednesday, I got nervous and excited all at the same time.  I have stayed pretty positive but today was the first time I experienced being scared.  For a brief second I had a break in the positivity and was thinking of all the things that could go wrong! Then I watched that sweet Pampers Miracle commercial and I realized that I am scared because I want it so bad.  I want the grand prize at the end of this journey so bad.  I want to hold my own baby in my arms, look at my husband and say, “Can you believe we did this, we created this.”  I want to cry in the sonogram room when I hear the heart beat for the first time.  I want to decorate a nursery, and have a baby shower, I want to join the mommy club.  I want to have  hopes and dreams, and look at my child in awe because it’s the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.  I want to see my baby laugh, cry, sleep, spit up, and change loads of dirty diapers.  I want to love our child like there is nothing else in the world that matters.  I want it all. I want to have my husband’s child.  I want it, and for the first time, I realize how nervous and scared I really am, because I realize that in over a week either that dream may or may not come true.

So I feel like the time in ticking on this bomb ready to go off.  I have a huge range of emotions, but most of them are happy, positive and good thoughts.  All I have right now is to stay positive and optimistic.  I already know what the worst could happen is, so why dwell on it?  Infertility sucks, seriously, it sucks bad.  But this is our  journey, this is our struggle, and we can only keep the faith that we will end up with a precious baby by Valentine’s Day!

I choose Hope and I hope you do the same.

In case you wanted to cry too!

Give up, Give in, or Give It All You’ve Got

Today was an almost disaster! 

 I’m in Chicago for work this weekend.  Today I had to have a blood draw to recheck my estrogen levels, since next week is ER.  If we miss this appointment they cancel our cycle.  Plus I have over 30 follicles so they wanted to make sure my estrogen was not super high.  I set up this appointment 3 weeks ago with Quest Diagnostics.  I told them it was a STAT test, and Dr. T needed the results no later than 2 pm.  They said it was no problem and they could do it.

 My conference started at 9 am this morning, I went to get my blood draw at 7 am, thinking I have plenty of time.  When I got there, I went over what they needed to do again and the receptionist looks and me and says we can’t do that.  I said, “Yes you can.”
 I cleared al l this 3 weeks ago.  She made a call, and then I hear her saying, “Oh yeah, we can do this, just not on Saturday.”  I GAVE HER THE WTF LOOK!  As she looks at me like sorry and begins to get off the phone. Then I say, “Ask them what my other options are!”   I was furious, a little scared, but there was no way I was not going to get this blood drawn.  I am thinking, all this money, time, effort and positivity, this is not F&^#ing ending today!  I told her that SHE NEEDS to find a lab that draws on Saturday, and she says, “I don’t know any.”  I said yes you do! It’s called a hospital, get on the phone and start calling!  I had her look up all the different hospitals in the area, and we both began calling.  I did not give a flying F%$^ who was waiting in the waiting area.  They were all going to have to sit their @$$es there and wait!

After calling numerous hospitals, Evanston Hospital right outside Chicago is partner with an IVF clinic and did the rapid Estradiol test and would page my doctor.  I almost cried!  They were so sweet, so nice, and so understanding.  They just simply said, “come on in, we’ll get it done.”  

So I was an hour late for my conference, but test was done.  Estrogen only rose a little bit.  Still on only 50 units of Follistim (which I did not bother to even go to a restroom to take tonight, I ate at a restaurant alone, and used the table cloth as a shield), and ER will be Wednesday which I am happy about because I am super uncomfortable!   I usually never get upset, but understandably I let out a few choice words.

Anyway, here is to hoping everyone’s night is amazing!

I am feeling very breakable. 

I am slightly clumsy and I am scared that I am going to run right into a corner or something.  My abdomen is very swollen and the pressure kind of hurts.  I am going to the bathroom like every 5 minutes (This may be due to my enormous consumption of water.)  I am having some trouble sleeping as well but I think that was more about worry.  I called the Doc today to make sure it was okay to sleep however I wanted.  Nurse Red said that if I am very uncomfortable I should sleep in a recliner.  I am just hoping that all this discomfort is due to the numerous follicles that contain in my ovaries.

Otherwise things are going well.  I had to take my Follistim shot today in a Chinese restaurant bathroom.  My first cartridge ran out and I had to replace that and the needle and stick myself again.  It only took about 3 minutes so my friend didn’t wonder where I was.  All apart of having the secret double IVF life, lying to your friends, lying to everyone to protect our little secret.  At this point I am waiting for Friday to get an idea of what is going on in there.  Then hopefully next Wednesday is ER.  I cannot believe it sometimes.  This process goes by so fast and so slow at the same time.

My mood has still been pretty even.  I have been pretty positive still, and I am very hopeful.  This medication combo of Dex, Lupron, Baby A and Fol has not affected my mood the way its affected my body.  My stomach looks like I have the measles with all the needle pricks.

Anyway, I hope today was a good day for all.  On Twitter I saw lots of BFP! Lots of successful second scans and I am so happy for all of you. For my ladies that are grieving a loss or a zero beta, my heart goes out to you and I am thinking and praying for you.