Today on twitter I have read three different posts on how to tell the infertile couple you are pregnant. This is funny because for the last 2.5 weeks I have suspected that my sister-in-law is pregnant and not telling me since she knows what we are going through. I feel with this whole IVF treatment it makes your senses even more heighten to seeing and knowing symptoms of pregnancy.

I have 3 types of online support that I am using to get through this IVF cycle, obviously this one where I can blog about what is going on with my cycle. Twitter, where I follow other infertile couples on their journeys through IVF, and BabyCenter, which I have a little group of 11 girls who are all the same age as me 24-26, going through IVF this May cycle with me. After reading those blogs and talking to the girls on my BabyCenter group I have realized a couple of things personally about telling the infertile couple you are pregnant.

I think it depends where you are in your infertility journey. My group on BabyCenter group are all first time IVFers, only 2 have done IUIs, and a couple took Clomid. We have barely been on this journey. So we are still excited whenever we hear of someone being pregnant. However, talk to us a couple of years from now if we have not had any children, and have spent thousands and thousands of dollars, we may not be as excited. I think the infertility journey can definitely wear you down.

  1. I also believe it depends on age. At 26, I know that I will probably keep doing treatments until I either am done having kids, or I get tired. Either way I have years ahead of me that I could potentially become pregnant. In my cohort at Dr. T’s office I am the youngest by 3 years.
  2. For me specifically, we have a male factor issue that was easily identified. My husband did have testicular cancer at 6 months old, so we already knew with chemotherapy and medication there could potentially be a problem. It was very sweet one day his mom and I went to lunch one day and she told me that she was sorry for making the decision that affected his fertility. I told her, that if she didn’t make that decision I probably wouldn’t have such a sweet husband.

This is how I look at it. Right now I am at the age where everyone is getting pregnant. I am one of those people who truly believe that everyone has their own struggles, whether its school related, financial, family etc. The Huz and I have an extremely blessed life, great families on both sides and have not really had to worry about anything. So the way I look at it now is that our struggle is fertility, and if this is the most difficult struggle we go through, I’ll take it. The Huz is such a wonderful man, and I couldn’t imagine a better person to go through this with. So when people are trying to figure out how to be sensitive to the infertile couples need, I would look at where they are at in their journey, how old there are, and be sensitive to that. Every couple handles news different, just make sure you do your research before you drop the bomb.

Hoping everyone is having a great day! Peace, Love and Baby Dust!

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