Today was the beginning of my secret life. I now understand how difficult it was for Clark Kent, to keep his secret from others.

The Huz and I decided two things when we started IVF. We would only tell a select few people in our family and I would leave my job for another or just quit due to the high amounts of stress. We decided this for many reasons. Our first reason was that we did not want everyone to know that we were going through IVF. When everyone knows they begin rooting for you and start building up enormous amounts of hope. Not that we are not hopeful, but our friends and family will constantly ask how the process is going, do we need anything, and God forbid if it does not work on the first try, not only will we be crushed but they will as well (both families are HUGE and involved and we both have a large social circle.) Therefore, we keep it between us and the few, (when I say few I mean 6 other people) and then if it turns out that it does not work, only the 8 of us will be sadden, and we spear everyone else from heartache. Luckily, the Huz and I have an extremely close relationship, and have been constant uplifting supports for each other.

Also, the less people who know, the less stress I will endure. What I have gathered from following blogs, tweets and other online forums, it seems that the less stress you put on yourself the more successful. I was a researcher in graduate school, and because of that I always OVER research and OVER plan everything! So I did not treat IVF any different, and the commonality regardless of food changes, drink changes, and medication changes, the most successful IVFs were when the couple was the least worried about success, and had the least amount of stress. Of course it is difficult not to stress, for goodness sake, you are stabbing yourself multiple times a day, taking oral medication, in a constant reminder that I have to do this to have a child. So to say not to stress is difficult, but what we can do is try to reduce the stress around us and try to put as much humor into IVF as possible.

Luckily I have just left the most stressful job in the world, for a job with a considerable pay increase and less that 1/64 of the stress. So I am lucky, but I knew I had to get out of my last job becuase it was changing my personality for the worst.

This leads me to my now double life! Today was the first appointment of a series of appointments that I will have over the next couples of months. I will write about this particular appointment after this. So I have now put on my work calendar these various appointments and listed them as random Dentist, Dermatologist, and Doctor Appointments.

I started this job over a month ago, so if I do get pregnant it wont look like I got a job and instantly got pregnant, however I do have to conjure up some excuses for the egg retrieval day and the transfer days…So, I am thinking, my diagnosis will be Diarrhea! Diarrhea is always a GREAT reason to stay home. Fortunately I have the capability to be able to connect to the server and work from home. However the two days I need pure rest, I have been diagnosed with chronic diarrhea! No one wants to be around someone who is constantly on the toilet, I mean you start to wonder, did they wash their hands? Did their poop splatter everywhere? Did they touch anything? Do they smell like poop? What did they eat? No one wants someone with chronic diarrhea around them, because you start to believe all you smell is poop! So I have time bank for the actual retrieval day and I will have Diarrhea so chronic I cannot leave my house for 3 days, which will just so happen to coincide with transfer day.

Call me Clark Kent.

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